Hey guys! So this is a diary entry of an 18 year old girl, who has “mom issues”
My mom and I were growing apart. Everything she says usually has a defensive edge to it. As if, she’s afraid that I’ll take it the wrong way, and argue.
Unlike most families, In my family arguing is not common. Infact if you argue with an elder then it better be in a very respectful and conversative manner.
You should try to not let the other person know that you’re arguing. That’s impossible right? Yep it is. But I guess kids of my generation have somehow mastered the art of staying quiet and accept shit the way it is, without questioning.
But I always wanted to be clear with my intentions. It costs a lot more than you’d imagine! The worst of all is, my mom’s trust and love.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and I know very well that she loves me just as fiercely. But sometimes things get so awkward and weird that neither of us want to take the first step and initiate a decent conversation.
It’s mostly because we’re either too “busy” or we’re too rigid, stuck because of our giant egos.
Now, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Hell, it’s not even close to the relationship that some of my friends have with their family. But for me it’s a big deal.
I always expressed too much love and was too honest with my family but lately I’ve been feeling as if things are changing, and like any normal human, I didn’t like it.
But today something spectacular happened. Lower your hopes, it’s not something too grand for y’all maybe but for me? Let’s just say, It made my day.
I jokingly said I wanna be a baby again to my mom, and started acting like one. I wanted her to pamper me, but as always I thought she’d brush me off with a small laugh or a teasing look and resume working.
But boy, I was wrong! She not only gave me a teasing look, but also kept her phone aside (for once!), Looked into my eyes and lightly punched my face over and over. It’s her gesture to pamper me, and to express her love. When I was a kid, she used to do that a lot, sometimes, even lightly biting my fluffy cheek while she was at it.
The loving look she gave me back then was something I can never forget. But the memory sure as hell faded. But today, she gave me the same loving look. She has no idea how much it meant to me. She has no idea that it was pure bliss for me. I hope it was the same for her too.
However even if it wasn’t, I’m sure she felt just as good. The wide smile on her face said it all.
I just want things to get back to normal. I want her to baby me again, as she used to. But I also want her to accept the fact that her daughters are grown ups now. I’ll be turning 18 this year, and my sister, 23.
I want her to treat us like friends more than kids. Yes, I want the same amount of love as I got as a child, but I also want her to treat me as an adult. I’m nearing the end of my teenage, but around my parents, it doesn’t feel so. I can’t talk openly about stuff I should be able to talk freely to them, so that’s something I really hope, changes.